It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
