i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
