Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he thought i was a dude.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
