I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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