i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
