my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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