I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
