You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
