Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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