her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
