No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She's the barista slut.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
