if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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