I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
