this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
