I must be too annoying 4 u.
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
