i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He passed out mid-signature
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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