You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
porn star boner night. come get it.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize