Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
