Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Randomize
