I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
4 words: hood of his car
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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