Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
