She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
