At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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