I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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