she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
