I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I want to fling myself into the sun
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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