bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
