6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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