he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
