Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
