Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
