oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
