Well douche your snatch and let's go!
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
