Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
