can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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