Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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