This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
