ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
