I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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