I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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