OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
