Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I smell like Dick and happiness
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
