so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
