He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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