so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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