she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
