so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
