yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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