There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
