the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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