i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
