Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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