You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
