ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
